Let's talk about FM

I've struggled with this post for a while. Do I talk about her without her knowing? What do I say? I can't tell her story. It's hers after all. But people need to know about her. She's a huge part of our story. 

In the most respectful way, I will tell you about FM. 

If Hollywood were going to pick someone to match her looks they would cast a young Holly Hunter (less twang, but the y'alls are very present and proud). A bohemian, free-spirit with a hard shell to crack on the outside and a beautiful, yet fragile, resilient soul on the inside.  

Hollywood would get it right this time. Last time they picked Julia Roberts and Ellen Degeneres to play us. I told you, we don't make the rules. 

The road leading up to right now has not been easy for FM. She has made some pretty selfish decisions in her life time, who hasn't. But let's get one thing clear, she is anything but selfish. 

The past few months getting to know FM have been an emotional roller coaster for all of us. When we began this journey we had no idea the effect (affect? I never know) this young lady would have on our lives. In more ways than one. 

As this journey comes to and end and opens the path for a whole new beginning for us and what we can only imagine will be the most handsomest of men, a new journey begins for FM. 

FM has asked us to be in the delivery room with her. We have accepted for more than one reason. Keep reading.  

She has asked the baby be born and immediately be taken away. She doesn't want to see him or hear him (if possible). We are to follow the baby and leave social worker to be with FM. 

I asked FM if this is what she really wants (I mean, this is a very personal, vulnerable room we will be in) and she said, "you need that bond with him. That first initial bond is everything." 

That's when I knew, she's doing this for us. For a lot of other reasons (her story), but this one...this one is for us. Jess and Heather. (Ellen and Julia). 

We have always been under the assumption that someone other than the social worker, a family member or maybe a close friend, would be there for her. We learned tonight, she will be by herself through this whole process. Friends, let me tell you something, the thought of that young lady going through this process alone has nearly broken us down. 

So here's my plan, holla if you hear me. I will update you when we are headed to the hospital. I ask all my prayer warriors, energy senders, tree huggers, belly rubbin' Buddha lovers to be with our sweet FM. 

I know these same vibes will be with our sweet baby boy and I am so thankful, but I need to know as we rush out of the room to have that initial bond with our baby Shane, that she will feel that same love and support we do from each and every one of you on a daily basis. 

We are meeting her face to face, person to person, belly to belly for the first time on Thursday. We are nervous. She is nervous. We get a tour of the hospital and the down low on what is happening on the big day. 

Come on SUPER BOWL BABY!!!!!! #gohawks

Thanks for all the love and support you all give to us, especially to FM. 

Cheers, 

HK and Jess