Let's talk about FM

I've struggled with this post for a while. Do I talk about her without her knowing? What do I say? I can't tell her story. It's hers after all. But people need to know about her. She's a huge part of our story. 

In the most respectful way, I will tell you about FM. 

If Hollywood were going to pick someone to match her looks they would cast a young Holly Hunter (less twang, but the y'alls are very present and proud). A bohemian, free-spirit with a hard shell to crack on the outside and a beautiful, yet fragile, resilient soul on the inside.  

Hollywood would get it right this time. Last time they picked Julia Roberts and Ellen Degeneres to play us. I told you, we don't make the rules. 

The road leading up to right now has not been easy for FM. She has made some pretty selfish decisions in her life time, who hasn't. But let's get one thing clear, she is anything but selfish. 

The past few months getting to know FM have been an emotional roller coaster for all of us. When we began this journey we had no idea the effect (affect? I never know) this young lady would have on our lives. In more ways than one. 

As this journey comes to and end and opens the path for a whole new beginning for us and what we can only imagine will be the most handsomest of men, a new journey begins for FM. 

FM has asked us to be in the delivery room with her. We have accepted for more than one reason. Keep reading.  

She has asked the baby be born and immediately be taken away. She doesn't want to see him or hear him (if possible). We are to follow the baby and leave social worker to be with FM. 

I asked FM if this is what she really wants (I mean, this is a very personal, vulnerable room we will be in) and she said, "you need that bond with him. That first initial bond is everything." 

That's when I knew, she's doing this for us. For a lot of other reasons (her story), but this one...this one is for us. Jess and Heather. (Ellen and Julia). 

We have always been under the assumption that someone other than the social worker, a family member or maybe a close friend, would be there for her. We learned tonight, she will be by herself through this whole process. Friends, let me tell you something, the thought of that young lady going through this process alone has nearly broken us down. 

So here's my plan, holla if you hear me. I will update you when we are headed to the hospital. I ask all my prayer warriors, energy senders, tree huggers, belly rubbin' Buddha lovers to be with our sweet FM. 

I know these same vibes will be with our sweet baby boy and I am so thankful, but I need to know as we rush out of the room to have that initial bond with our baby Shane, that she will feel that same love and support we do from each and every one of you on a daily basis. 

We are meeting her face to face, person to person, belly to belly for the first time on Thursday. We are nervous. She is nervous. We get a tour of the hospital and the down low on what is happening on the big day. 

Come on SUPER BOWL BABY!!!!!! #gohawks

Thanks for all the love and support you all give to us, especially to FM. 

Cheers, 

HK and Jess

What Would Cavemen Do?

This has been a popular saying in this baby bungalow of ours for the last twenty four hours. First world problems. I mean, how are we supposed to know how Willie and Matt are doing on the Today Show? No TV. How do we store our food? Mini-fridge. Where will we put all of our stuff (my stuff)? No closet and a two drawer chest. Not to mention we have to fold up our bed everyday to walk across the room when not sleeping. As if? 

Have you ever seen the documentary Tiny? If you haven't you need to. It's about people who build tiny houses and live small, on purpose. There are people in this world who have tiny houses or no houses, not on purpose. For the next 3 or 4 weeks (please let it be only 3 or 4 weeks), we will live tiny, in a 398 square foot guest house. Our hosts, Flora and Victor, they live in a very large square foot house next to us (show-offs). I have never met a family so welcoming in my life. And they're huggers. I love hugs.

 When Shane gets here, we will cuss, we will probably yell at each other because everything is tiny (except for us). The one thing we won't be is ungrateful. It's hard sometimes to really take in what you have and be grateful for it when you are so used to all the "stuff" you already have. 

Our plan today...Target. Getting stocked on all our needs and ready for the big call. Which we were told could be within the week. 

Hopefully we can fit in a trip to Grand Canyon and Sedona if time allows. 

For now...

Welcome to our baby bungalow, where the view and the spiritual energy is anything but tiny. 

Our front yard

Cheers 

HK and Jess

Hotels Be Gone

When we began our search for a place to stay during our trip to Phoenix, we quickly found out it was not going to be an easy process.

A) We are guaranteed to be there for at least two weeks due to ICPC laws (look it up). Could be quicker, could be longer, but all professional peeps that do this every day say bank on two weeks. 

B) ICWA laws (look it up). We're banking on three weeks. 

C) Superbowl the same weekend of FM's due date. (Go Hawks). 

D) Do we want to stay in a hotel for possibly three weeks? No kitchen or kitchenette unless you get a suite and from what we found the Extended Stays in the area were not suitable for our needs. Don't even get me started on the racket that is valet parking at hotels. And then to park yourself you STILL have to pay for off-site parking, I told you, don't get me started. 

We just so happened to be at the Pub one night, which is so weird because we are NEVER there. This cute, funny, genius bartender, I think her name is Cameron recommended Airbnb.

Turns out, Cameron and her best friend Blair are published authors. You can pre-order their book, My Old Kentucky Road Trip: Historic Destinations and Natural Wonders on Amazon now. (not that we love and consider the staff at The Pub as our family, because we never go there. Ever.)

How cute are they?!?

Annnnywho...

After three and a half hours of searching and emailing different people and houses on Airbnb, we found a beautiful guest house that fits our basic needs and our price. Flora, the owner of the house has been an absolute dream to work with. Not only is she letting us stay in her guest house, she is truly excited to share in our journey. One that will be filled with nothing but joy, laughter and well, you know there's going to be some stories. I mean come on, it's a 380 square foot house, a newborn and the possibility of only an outdoor shower. I just discovered that last part out today, it's okay, it's an adventure, we got this!!!

If things get a little stressful, we will take a walk through the rock labyrinth (look it up), which I am SUPER excited about.

Well, that's it for today. I'll share some more good news with you in a couple of days. We leave in SIX days!!

P.S. Looks like I have given you all a little homework with all the "look it ups." If you don't feel like looking it up or care...then just go watch The Labyrinth movie with David Bowie, it's soooooo good!!!! 

Cheers 

HK and Jess

Welcome Back

Helllllloooooooo (waving obnoxiously and said in my best Jerry Seinfeld voice).

I know, I know, it’s been too long. For those of you that Jess and I see on a regular basis you are pretty much filled in on all the good stuff. For those of you whom we don’t see on a regular, let me say it again, Hellllllllloooooooo.

Let’s see, where do I begin. Let’s start here….

We’re MARRIED!!!! Mmmmmmhmmmmm, that’s Mrs. Heather Kimberling now, thank you very much.

Not that you didn’t already know this exciting news. I warned you. Facebook posts at a nauseating level. Well calm down, it’s over now. Next up, baby posts. Again, you’ve been warned.

My previous post was about the emotional roller coaster that is adoption. Nothing has changed there. Every week it gets a little more intense. Do we start a nursery? Do we have a baby shower? Do we register? Yes, Yes and YES!!!

But then, you talk to the social worker and she lays it out there. The cold hard truth. All answers become, no, maybe and let's wait a little longer.  

Nobody asked for the cold hard truth. You just sit down, all giddy inside waiting, still thinking about the perfect nursery you saw on Pinterest and BAM!!! A dusty thick book is slammed down in front of you, the title, “The Worst Moments of The Best Moment of Your Life.” (Julia Roberts to play HK, Ellen Degeneres to play Jess. It's Hollywood people, we don't make the rules. Just go with it).

So we go back to waiting. Empty room where nursery will be. Pinterest boards remain pinless, giddiness, butterflies and excitement still alive, yet subdued because you really don’t know what to do or how to feel.

What if she changes her mind? This is a huge possibility. We can’t come home from Arizona to a perfected nursery. But what if everything goes perfectly? We don’t have a perfect room for our perfect Shane. So what do you do? Well, I’ll tell ya. You freak out because Birth Mom (BM), we like to call her First Mom (FM, because I can’t type BM without giggling), is due in three weeks. THREE WEEKS.  

All of your plans for that perfect Pinterest nursery go flying right out the door. THREE WEEKS. Jess painted the room a perfect, “Azure Snow.” Keeping it fancy. The chest we were going to sand and repaint, it’s brown, un-sanded and perfect for clothes and diapers and a changing pad. Crib (to be put together this weekend). Check. Bookcase. Check. Toybox. Check. Arguments about what pieces to put on walls. Check. Check.

So, that’s what's going on in our neck of the woods, but wait, there’s more. Stay tuned. I have created a series of blogs to update you on when we are leaving. Skype dates with FM. Where we are staying. Our fears and our excitement about how our life is going to become so rich with emotion and love (and completely turn upside down) in a few weeks.  We can’t wait to share our journey with you and hope you will give any and all advice of your journey in parenthood. As a niece, nephew, uncle, aunt, sister, brother. See, there’s always a journey and advice somewhere.

Cheers

HK and Jess