Our First Family Photo

When thinking about adoption, or even talking to others about adoption, one of the main questions asked, are you going to have an open or closed adoption? Our answer has always been closed. But then it went to semi-open. We have agreed to three letters a year, including pictures. What we never talked about, or even thought about, was the relationship with the birth mother, before the birth. Never. Not once, did I picture myself thinking about the next time I would talk to the woman carrying our child. Not once did I think I would ache to talk to our birth mom on the phone. No way did I think I would really like her, dare I say care about her. 

Now listen, we understand boundaries. We respect these boundaries on both sides. There's no way you can have a conversation with a woman that is giving you her child and not develop some sort of connection. Did I mention she's funny, she's smart, she's beautiful, she has a southern twang and listens to the Grateful Dead. 

Tonight was our second Skype Date (that's what we're calling it...dates). Although the nerves were still there, it felt more casual. Yvette (the social worker) gave her the card we sent her. We asked questions about her cravings, (chocolate and Chinese food). She told us about her heartburn. She met Gigi and Granddad (Heather's mom and step-dad). We laughed, we cried, we saw her cute little baby bump. And then...AND THENNNNNNN...

Our First Family Photo

Erica held up the ultrasound, so we took a picture. If you reallllly look you can see the outline of his profile on the top left. If you look harder than that, well, you just see a bunch of black and white lines. Obviously, from the looks on our faces, it took us a while to see his face too. 

Erica goes to the doctor on Monday and we will schedule another date after that. We told her she could send us letters, which are sent via the social worker. We want her to know we are holding her hand through this journey, even though we are 1800 miles away. 

Until then...

HK and Jess